My own website, examined and improved
I checked the page, found the gaps, and made specific changes. These five examples show what changed and why.
I evaluated my own homepage, identified the gaps, and corrected them using the 19 Points of Marketing Clarity™. The latest evaluation scored 53/57 — an A. The next improvement is stronger proof through client recommendations and documented results.
View my 53/57 evaluation screenshotThe grades assess the message against my 19-point framework. They do not measure inquiries or revenue. Below are selected excerpts and descriptions from an earlier saved homepage and the revised page, not full-page screenshots or a reconstruction of the original C evaluation.
Emotional Activation
Earlier page
The earlier page explained why patient questions matter, without this dedicated section about the practitioner’s effort and spending.
Revised page
“You could spend more and still leave the same questions unanswered.”
Why this matters: The page now connects the website problem to time, effort, and marketing spending.
Future Self Vision
Earlier page
There was no dedicated section describing better-informed calls and less explaining from scratch.
Revised page
“Your staff has less to explain from scratch. You can spend more time listening and discussing what the patient needs.”
Why this matters: The practitioner can picture what a clearer website would mean in daily work.
Offer Clarity / Specificity
Earlier page
“Introductory Rate: $2,497” followed by “A homepage evaluation and rebuild, plus four bonuses.”
Revised page
Patient Stress Quiz $500 · Email Sequence $500 · Appointment Script + Consultation Protocol $350 · Referral Card $250. Total estimated package value: $4,100. Introductory rate: $2,497.
Why this matters: The reader sees what is included before deciding how to judge the price.
Structural Persuasion Layering
Earlier page
Client feedback appeared elsewhere on the page, separate from this price box.
Revised page
Dr. Richard Sowerby · Clear Choice Natural Health. The quote and research link now sit directly above the offer.
Why this matters: Evidence is visible where the reader considers the purchase. This quote supports the message work; it does not establish booking gains.
Risk Reversal
Earlier page
“Two payments of $1,248.50.” Delivery protections were not visible beside this offer button.
Revised page
Scope confirmed before payment. First complete draft targeted within 15 business days after kickoff and required materials. Two consolidated revision rounds requested within 14 days of draft delivery. Missing agreed deliverables completed at no added charge.
Why this matters: The reader can see the process and delivery protections before proceeding. Timing depends on feedback, approvals, and access.
See what needs attention before deciding what to change.
Get My Free Action PlanRodney May
Marketing Clarity Architect™
Author of Clear Enough to Lead
